jennifer. the invisible girl.


i change this all the time, because i continuously find new things about myself to add. i hardly get mad. when i do, it's usually for a good reason. i'm unique, and i like it that way. i'm random. i can be loud or quiet, depending on my mood. i'm a perfectionist, and slightly ocd. i trust others too easily. i'm wiser than most my age. i'm a pacifist. i don't believe in war. i wish the world was a better place, and so far we don't come close. i write things: poems, stories, whatever. i not like anyone else you'll ever meet, and i know it. i'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not. i don't like to give up, and most of the time i don't. i should really take my own advice once in a while. i'm extremely shy, and i wish i wasn't. i'm somewhat insecure. get over it, because everyone is like that, even if they admit it or not. i try to spend more time laughing and less time being negative. i love life, even if it doesn't love me back. i care, often times too much. i'm passionate about things. i'm never given a chance, or a second chance. i want to make a difference. i hate california; it's too superficial. my dream is to do something amazing. to change the world. to change the way people think. to help as many people as i can. to be a better person. to make the world a better place. to show that different is okay. to show that everyone is beautiful on the inside and out. to get rid of the evil around here. my dream, in other words, is to do something no one else has ever dared to do. i am hated. i am judged. it happens quite often. so if you plan to read this small paragraph, and then say, "oh, she's a bitch," think again. i don't want your labels and i don't want your opinion of me. get to know me before you think anything of me, because chances are, whatever you're thinking about me is wrong. and by the way, there's more to me than meets the eye.


"everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. that's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever. there are some things in life that don't go the way you want them to or the way you think they should, but you can't dwell on these because you'll miss out on other opportunites. don't give up on something just because you don't think things will work, you won't know unless you give it a try. but don't hold onto something that left a long time ago, because sooner or later you'll realize some things just aren't meant to be. there comes a time when every life goes off course. in this desperate moment you must choose your direction Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? or will you label yourself ? will you be honored by your choice? or will you embrace your new path? each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up. people are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. people talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. love hurts. feeling are disturbing. people are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. how can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? pain is meant to wake us up. people try to hide their pain. but they're wrong. pain is something to carry, like a radio. you feel your strength in the experience of pain. it's all in how you carry it. that's what matters. pain is a feeling. your feelings are a part of you. your own reality. if you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. you should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

my heroes.

courtney. she's my best friend, ever. no one else can compare. we swear we were sisters seperated at birth (and dude we totally were).i would go crazy without her, for she's the one that keeps me sane 24/7. i admire her, whether she knows that or not, and she is a true inspiration to me. she WILL always be my best friend, through thick and thin. nothing can tear us apart. pineapple & toast foreverr!

my mom. she has always been there for more than i've acknowledged. she always helps me through things. and i never give her enough credit for what she does. i love my mom.

rob. also my best friend. he outs up with all of my moods and never gives up on me. i hope he's around forever, because i would probably go crazy without him around.

my chemical romance. not only are they the best band in the world, but they don't take their fame for granted. you can truly see that they are just like teenage boys, much more than we think. they have the most amazing lyrics and musical sound. no other band could EVER compare.

christina aguilera. she has an amazing voice. she also has a strong spirit and backbone. so many people judge her for her looks and the way she dresses. but she doesn't even care at all. she's happy and that's all that matters. truthfully she is an inspriation for me to be more confident and comfortable with myself.

paul dano. he plays the son in the movie little miss sunshine. he doesn't talk at all because he's preparing himself for the air force, till he finds out he's colorblind and can't fly planes. he gets upset and runs down a huge hill, and then gets mad and yells up at his family, "you're all a bunch of fucking losers!"

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likes.,
best friends, vacations, snow, sleepovers, english class, scary stuff, swimming, rainbows, animals, big sunglasses, post it notes, candles, makeup, singing, the internet. movies, laughing, writing, hanging out, dancing, bows, paul dano, seasons, musicals, dreams, shoes, randomness, holidays, IMing, batman, gerard way, colors, sunsets, resturaunts, straight hair, car rides, mountain dew, reading, talking, love, the beach, sweets, sleep, the 80's, sketching, designing, dory, being a kid, tote bags, helping people, rain, music, shopping, thunderstorms, photography, being a girl, myspace, nighttime, being me, ice cream, making things up, inside jokes, my chemical romance, rocking out, being crazy, being with courtney my bff!, shopping, cute movies, colorful things.,

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dislikes.,
shallowness, liars, fakes, war, violence, animal cruelty, heartbreak, bitchy people, ignorance, abuse, stupidity, scary movies, rollercoasters, clowns, lonliness, snobs, braggers, money flaunters, racism, homophobes, the word "sorry", bullies, being judged, jealousy, cheaters, being shy, hate, anger, sadness, crying, the heat, talking on the phone for a long time, stage fright, my parents/my mom sometimes, arguing, rap music.

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+44, 10years, 18 visions, 30 seconds to mars, afi, a static lullaby, anti flag, areosmith, acceptance, a kiss could by deadly, a change of pace, armor for sleep, atreyu, as i lay dying, avenged sevenfold, the ataris, the academy is, adam & andrew, aiden, the all american rejects, all that remains, amber pacific, american eyes, american hi fi, anberlin, andrew w.k., angels & airwaves, avril lavigne, bayside, bleeding through, bullet for my valentine, billy talent, breaking benjamin, black eyed peas, blink 182, the blood brothers, bloodhound gang, bon jovi, bowling for soup, boys like girls, bright eyes, brand new, cartel, cascada, christina aguilera, coldplay, the click five, cobra starship, coheed & cambria, cute is what we aim for, chiodos, dashboard confessional, death cab for cutie, descendents, diffuser, drop dead gorgeous, disturbed, the donnas, duran duran, the early november, eleventyseven, eminem, escape the fate, evanescence, the f – ups, flyleaf, fall out boy, fergie, five for fighting, fm static, fort minor, fountains of wayne, from first to last, the fray, from autumn to ashes, funeral for a friend, further seems forever, godhead, goldfinger, good charlotte, greely estates, green day, gwen stefani, gym class heroes, halfcocked, halifax, hawthorne heights, head automatica, hellogoodbye, him, hit the lights, hole, hollywood undead, the horrorpops, houston calls, in stereo, incubus, jack's mannequin, james blunt, jason mraz, jeffree star, jimmy eat world, josh groban, justin timberlake, katy rose, kelly clarkson, the killers, korn, killswitch engage, lacuna coil, lady sovereign, less than jake, limp bizkit, linkin park, lost prophets, louis xiv, lustra, mae, mariah carey, marilyn manson, matchbook romance, mcfly, michelle branch, mindless self indulgence, motion city soundtrack, musical soundtracks, movie soundtracks, mxpx, my chemical romance, new found glory, nickelback, n sync, nine days, nirvana, norma jean, no doubt, no use for a name, outkast, ok go, the offspring, panic! at the disco, papa roach, patent pending, the penfifteen club, paramore, pink, pink floyd, the pussycat dolls, the pink spiders, plain white t's, poison the well, rancid, the raconteurs, rascal flatts, red hot chili peppers, the red jumpsuit apparatus, relient k, rise against, the rocket summer, saosin, scary kids scaring kids, seether, self, simple plan, slipknot, say anything, switchfoot, saves the day, stutterfly, senses fail, shiny toy guns, snow patrol, something corporate, spitalfield, staind, the starting line, static x, stefy, story of the year, sugarcult, sum 41, system of a down, taking back sunday, three days grace, thrice, thursday, tiger army, transplants, trapt, unwritten law, underoath, the veronicas, wakefield, weezer, wheatus, the white stripes, yellowcard, zebrahead.

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a walk to remember, freedom writers, little miss sunshine, ghostrider, saw 1-3, how to deal, the pursuit of happyness, pirates of the caribbean, superman returns, national treasure, night at the museum, wayne's world, zoolander, blood & chocolate, the devil wears prada, school of rock, never been kissed, pretty woman, mean girls, stick it, the stepmom, confessions of a teenage drama queen, legally blonde, the nightmare before christmas, hide and seek, enough, the phantom of the opera, bubble boy, donnie darko, the notebook, cast away, the cure, ferris bueller's day off, batman begins, mr. and mrs. smith, beauty and the beast, peter pan, gothika, catwoman, queen of the damned, interview with a vampire, digging to china, the corpse bride, flightplan, sixteen candles, grease, the breakfast club, hangman's curse, she's the man, rent, the incredible mrs. ritchie, step up, john tucker must die, musicals, disney movies, lifetime movies, hunchback of notre dame, the illusionist, footloose, happy feet, white chicks, secret window, edward scissorhands.

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csi, america's next top model, law and order: svu, i love the 70's/80's/90's, grounded for life, strong medicine, anything on fuse, lifetime movie network, who's line is it anyway?, nip/tuck, heroes, jackass, dane cook, south park, grease: you're the one that i want, mystery diagnosis, dateline nbc, the pussycat dolls: search for the next doll.

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the secret journal of brett colton, boy heaven, thicker than water, story of a girl, the vampire chronicles, the freedom writers diary, crooked, sweetblood, blue bloods, blood & chocolate, the year of secret assignments, vampire kisses 1 – 3, walk two moons, the bermudez triangle, this lullaby, the boyfriend list, cut, rhymes with witches, just listen, boy proof, faultline, dead connection, swollen, blue is for nightmares series, someone like you, summer boys 1 – 3, dreamland, keeping the moon, that summer, just like that, the key to the golden firebird, wrecked, the truth about forever, head games, what my mother doesn't know, katie.com, speak, things change, heart on my sleeve, stargirl to kill a mockingbird, romeo and juliet, flipped, harry potter series, lucas, easy, bad girl, mercy unbound, ttyl, ttfn, crushed, tenderness, teach me, twilight, new moon, thicker than water, define normal, how to deal, a child called it, the rules of survivial, fade.